yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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