she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize