turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
