we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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