oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just found puke in my bra..
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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