im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
