why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
