Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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