Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
