butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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