considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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