Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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