just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
