I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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