Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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