the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
