I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize