You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
