I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think I am morally bankrupt
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
