no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
