I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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