do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
