Its about making memories worth repressing
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
