No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
