Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Buhtt sex?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
