Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize