Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
