i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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