she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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