who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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