people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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