they need to just BURY HIM!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
