i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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