you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
