I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
