Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
