That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize