Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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