Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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