I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Text me some of your sweat
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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