But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
