I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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