No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
