He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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