well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
