Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
