Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
