my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize