He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
