I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
