You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
