her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
