Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
