I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
