What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
