I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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