ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
