Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
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