Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
