margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
