"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
