We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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