Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
babies were throwing up all over the place
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It was confusing and full of hummus
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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