We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
