omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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