96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
