I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
