Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
