Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
