So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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