This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
