just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
