Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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