Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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