The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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