Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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