I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
we're so committed to being not committed
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
