where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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