I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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