She's JV to your varsity
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
